Free Comic Book Day 2025- Archie's Comic Spectacular

 By Mark Rodriguez

Archie comics has been around as long as I can remember. I used to see those little Archie digest books at the supermarket as a kid and my mom would get them for me. Of course later on with Archie Comics getting the license to do Ninja Turtles and Sonic the Hedgehog comics, I stuck around with the comic book company itself, but forgot about the Riverdale gang. I did get a digest a few years ago and was entertained by the fact that these characters that go back to the 40's were now living in the (at the time of 2015 or so) modern internet era. I'm assuming by now most of them are on their phones and social media. Well, let's take a look to see what the old gang is up to nowadays.

 "Riverdale Jones and the Burger of Density" opens with Riverdale Jones (Jughead) as he's running from a giant rolling burger alongside his dog Hot Dog, similar to a certain movie. Riverdale Jones searches for the most exotic burgers in the world and his current adventure has him looking for the Burger of Density. It's said this burger can satisfy the more ravenous of appetites. He wonders if he finally rolled snake eyes on the dice of life. Jughead yells out 'Snake Eyes? Why did it have to be Snake Eyes?'.

In real life though, Jughead is out cold as Archie and Betty worry about him. Betty says that Pop did warn Jughead that his newest burger was the thickest juiciest creation yet, and Jughead needs to sleep it off. 

The dream continues as Jughead and Hot Dog leap over chasms as he talks about the Burger of Destiny's rumors of having eleven Peruvian spices and the ability to cure hunger. Hot Dog steps on some sort of button on the floor before Jughead can stop him. Something red sprays out, hitting them both. Jughead confirms that it's a ketchup trap and if it was mustard they'd really be in trouble.

Jughead grabs his dog as they both swing with his whip towards three separate caves. One has vanilla ice cream splash out and the other has strawberry flavor come out. Jughead chooses the third cave, saying to always choose chocolate. Once inside, Jughead and Hot Dog find the golden Burger of Density. As he reaches out to grab it, he sees that Commander Dismantle (Reggie Mantle) arrives and he has Hot Dog by the collar. He tells him to hand over the burger or he'll find out if all dogs go to heaven. That's kinda dark, Reggie.

Jughead grabs the burger off the pedestal and is surprised that it was that easy. Just then the temple starts to rumble and the giant golden burger starts rolling down the room. Jughead, Reggie and Hot Dog run across a bridge. Jughead tosses the burger across the bridge which lands with a heavy THUMP. Both men fight over the burger and Jughead tells him to give him back his dog. Reggie agrees and runs off with the Burger of Density. Jughead tells Hot Dog that he's worth more than any burger.

Jughead finally wakes up and Betty calls Pop to get him a soda. Jughead wonders what happened to the burger (probably forgetting he already ate it). Reggie comes in telling Pop that he's on the hunt from one of those Peruvian burgers. Jughead chases Reggie with a licorice whip wanting his burger back. Reggie has no idea what's going on and where he got the licorice. Betty says that maybe Pop should put a little less spices on his new burger.

 

"Archie and the Gang in Blockbuster Blowout" opens up introducing Poolnoodle the Backstroke, which as you can guess is based on Deadpool (while poking fun that Deadpool is based on Deathstroke). Poolnoodle welcomes the readers to his new movie 'Wet. Wild. Worrisome'. He tells the readers not to worry since he's family-friendly and the other Wilsons are the ones with the potty-mouths. To boost ticket-sales and attendance, he brings in Pureheart the Powerful to guest star. Pureheart, who is Archie in costume, thanks him for being there.

Poolnoodle says that people are tired of superhero movies and a single crossover cameo can't carry them. He says they'll bring the Crusaders too and Archie asks which ones. Poolnoodle says 'all of them' as we see a large amount of heroes. Archie says there's too many and Poolnoodle shushes him since his word balloons are covering up the cool cameos.

Archie says bringing all these characters will make the movie too bloated and unfocused. Poolnoodle says the movie is too niche so he needs to diversify to appeal to more demographics. He says they'll bring in Cosmo for some sci-fi and Sam Hill for noir and spy-jinks. They'll also bring in Nevada Jones, Sabrina and Josie and the Pussycats. Archie says there isn't enough room to draw all those characters. Poolnoodle reminds him that meta jokes are his territory.

Poolnoodle isn't satisfied and wants more. He brings in cameos from Desire to bring corporate synergy. He wants Floot and his Filet Minions since people love cross-brand shared universes. Poolnoodle totally loses it and Archie tells him to stop. Archie says it's too much and says 'no more' until Betty shakes him awake. 

Archie is in the movie theater with his friends. Betty says the movie marathon was too much for him. Veronica is angry that Archie is talking over the movie. Jughead calls him a lightweight. The movie ends with Poolnoodle winking at the audience.

"Betty and Veronica in Babbi's Riverdale Beach Party" opens with Veronica welcoming everyone to her party as we see a giant doll house that's part slide leading to a pool. Ronnie thanks everyone for showing up dressed as their favorite Babbi doll.

Archie and his friends are there too and he asks them if they want to play ball. Reggie asks if he's not as excited about the upcoming Babbi movie like he is. Trev says Reggie is just there to score brownie points with the girls. Reggie shushes him. Jughead says he's just there for the hot pink hot dog food truck. Trev says it's just hot dogs with pink food coloring. Jughead also shushes them and says there's no such thing as 'just hot dogs'. Trev asks why he hangs out with them.

A new guy with spiked hair with light blue highlights shows up asking about Veronica's party. Archie and Reggie convince him he's at the wrong place and send him away. Reggie says he's the new kid from Centerville who's a whiz on the basketball court. Archie says he's the reason hes worried about making the team this year and on top of that he's asking for Veronica. Archie is nervous that he's not only after his spot but also after his girl. Reggie says he should be. 

 

The guy asks a girl named Eliza if he's at the right place. Veronica sees him and grabs him, thinking he's the actor that plays Kent. The ladies, and Kevin, flock around him and one of the girls says he looks a lot taller in person. Two other girls named Cassie and Jola are bored with the party, playing chess to pass the time, not really feeling the Babbi gimmick. They look out the window and see the guy, who Cassie recognizes as Casey. 

Cassie runs over and asks why everyone is attacking her brother Casey. Veronica is surprised to hear that Casey is her brother. Cassie explains he's her older brother that was supposed to pick her up, being an hour late. Casey apologizes and says he was detained. Veronica asks why they were all going crazy over him. Kevin still thinks he's cute though.

Someone at the party tries to get everyone's attention for a special announcement. Cassie grabs the mic and yanks Casey along with her. She introduces him as Casey Cloud, an amazing basketball player with a huge heart and a bigger sense of humor. She says he might not be a celebrity but he still deserves respect. She says if Babbi was there, she's say something like 'everyone is a star, even if they don't know it yet.' As she goes on, someone else says 'there are billions of stars all burning bright in their own way'.

Cassie turns to see the actual Babbi there who says she is correct in that she would say that. Babbi said she had an inspiring speech prepared but Cassie had it covered. The crowd goes wild and welcomes Babbi. Casey says that Riverdale is a weird place. Babbi says it's magically weird.

 

"Dr. Masters in All Bout Meme" is.. full of memes, so this story will be fun to describe. Dr. Masters walks down the street as he streams through his phone about the upcoming Riverdale High School Dance. As he walks by, Veronica, Betty and Archie do their version of the 'guy checking out another girl meme'.

Dr. Masters says most teens can only think about who they'll be taking to the dance Friday night. He says Jughead wouldn't know about that since he only thinks about burgers. Others know exactly who they're going with, as we Midge waiting for Moose to ask her out. Midge does the 'thinking meme with the floating equations.' Meanwhile Moose is waiting for Reggie to show up and help him ask Midge out.

Dr. Masters says Moose should know better than to trust Reggie. Reggie is currently sitting at a table with a sign that read 'I'm better than Archie Andrews. CHANGE MY MIND'.

Cheryl Blossom is in bed admiring a framed photo.. of herself. This is the Wolverine meme as he looks over a pic of Jean and Scott. There's so many variations of this meme I can't find the original picture anymore. 

Dr. Masters comments that Dilton Doiley isn't worried since he isn't going anyway. He does the 'thinking smart' meme.

 

Chuck Clayton knows who to ask out but he needs the courage to ask them out. Meanwhile Archie does not simply ask a girl to the dance, without asking out another girl to the exact same dance. Naturally the two candidates are Veronica and Betty. Archie sits in a burning house as he ponders have two dates to the same dance. He says this is fine.

Jughead asks Hot Dog if he wants to go to the dance, and the dog has the 'surprised Pikachu' look on his face. Rumor fly that Josie and the Pussycats will be performing at the dance. Veronica yells out 'SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY' as Betty reminds her that the dance is free.

Dr. Masters points to a wall full of photos and whatnot as he says all the signs point to Josie actually performing at the dance. At the dance, everyone shows up, as we see Reggie doing the 'Leo finger point meme'. 

Veronica is happy to be at the dance and can't wait to see Josie and the Pussycats rock out. Betty points out that YDM stopped live-streaming. Instead of Josie, we see Dr. Masters singing a familiar song from 1987 as the school dance has been YDM'd. Everyone yells 'NOOOOO!!!' 

"Sabrina Spellman in Do you Believe in Magic?" opens at the beach as Archie is looking for Sabrina. Sabrina literally pops onto the scene without him seeing her. A girl with glasses managed to catch her appearing out of nowhere. He mentions that he got the metal detector. Archie says they can look for hidden treasure. Sabrina says it sounds like fun.

Hours later, Archie is still looking while Sabrina is bored out of her mind. Just then Archie found something as the detector starts beeping. He pulls out an old Tiki Idol with a metal rim on the top. As Sabrina gets a better look, she recognizes the logo. She says it's from the Ravensquire Witch Academy. The girl from earlier watches them from behind a small hill. Sabrina excuses herself from Archie for a 'quick errand she needs to run'.

Sabrina says there's only one witch she knows that went to Ravensquire. She calls out to Ophelia, who left town to join the witch academy. As she summons her, the girl with the glasses is still behind her witnessing everything. Ophelia also appears out of nowhere. As both witches greet each other, the girl with the glasses runs off.

Ophelia tells Sabrina that she left to sharpen her magic skills since she wasn't born with the magic that Sabrina has. Sabrina says she contacted her because she found a Tiki Statue on the beach from her school. Ophelia says she buried it there because it was cursed. They go to look for Archie, but he already left the beach.

Sabrina and Ophelia found Archie back in town. He had already given the statue to Betty but he found a 50 dollar bill on the sidewalk. The girls find Betty who says she gave the statue to Jughead, and she just landed her dream babysitting job. After the girls find Jughead, he says Veronica took it from him. He had just won an all-you can-eat burger give-away and Veronica wanted the good luck for herself.

Sabrina asks Ophelia if the Tiki gives good luck instead of bad. Ophelia says she can't even conjure a bad luck Tiki, the complete opposite of her directions. Sabrina says it's a good thing and she should be proud. Ophelia says she never thought about it that way and feels so much better now. Sabrina says they still have to find that idol. 

They find that Veronica still has the Tiki and now has a date with Hollywood star Ryan Goshling who also wants her to star in his next movie.

 

"Young Dr. Masters in The Doctor Does Dating" opens with a woman storming off as Archie ruined another date. Archie tells Jughead he needs some dating advice. Veronica comes in and tells him to ask Dr. Masters as her father has him in town to promote his new dating app Swipey. Archie can check it out and then show Veronica what he learned by taking her out to Chez Pierre. 

Later on at Veronica's father's office, he sends some of the local Riverdale teens to Dr. Masters so he can film some 'FlipFlops' to promote the app. Some of the girls show him FanCam videos they made of him.

Later on Dr. Masters asks Betty what was her biggest dating mistake. She says she doesn't have any. Just then a guy on a bike goes by and waves to her. Betty runs off after him.

Dr. Masters asks Veronica what her biggest dating flaw is. She says she doesn't have any but her dates do. She says last year someone tried to take her out in a McLauren that was only the 1.7Mil model and not the upgraded 2Mil. Masters says maybe she should be ok with cars under a Mil. Veronica asks if they even make cars that cheap.

Masters eats burgers with Jughead and asks him what was his biggest dating regret. Jughead says he regrets not eating more. Masters looks around for more people to interview and he sees Cheryl. Cheryl says that Masters should work her own app, Flamester, and asks if she should invest on Swipely instead. Masters thinks he should try a different approach and finds someone else.

Masters finds Ethel and asks what her biggest dating wish is. She wants to be seen and appreciated. Masters wants to help her get her wish. 

Later on, Masters and his assistant find out that the music label UTB Music had removed all the songs from their FlipFlop videos. Archie offers to help. Archie, Berry, Veronica and Reggie all make their own music for the videos. The Swipey downloads, profits and views all go up. Sometime later, we see people cheering Ethel on with signs like 'Baddie', 'Queen' and 'Slay'. The assistant asks Masters what dating advice he would give. Masters says it doesn't matter who you date as long as you have good friends.

 

My thoughts- 

So it was fun returning to Riverdale after a decade or so. I have to hand it to these guys. They've been pumping out these comics and  digests since the 80's, each one with 10-12 stories, and somehow the writers never seem to run out of ideas. Not just Archie himself, but also digests devoted to Jughead, Betty and Veronica, Sabrina and more I'm sure. There's been a few changes and shake ups over the years and new characters. Cheryl Blossom is yet another girl that's after Archie, and her wealth rivals that of Veronica. We also have the fact that Archie dated Valerie (from Josie and the Pussycats) for a while and her brother Trev joined the cast. At some point Archie even dated Sabrina for a short while. We also have Kevin, who Veronica once pursued until she found out he was gay. I guess Dr. Masters is a character with own stories too. The back of the book also promotes Casey and Cassie, so they might be appearing in later stories.

I forgot how short these stories are, and some of them feel like they end before they can really get started. I wouldn't have minded an extra page or two for Jughead's Indiana Jones parody. The Deadpool parody was full of fun references. I wasn't expecting a reference to Gru from Despicable Me in a Deadpool parody.

The story that got me the most was the Dr. Masters one with the memes. I'm not sure if every panel was referencing a meme (what meme was the Jughead eating a burger referencing, if any?). 

 

Most of the time when some form of media uses internet or meme humor it's outdated before it even hits print, but I have to hand it to this story. These particular memes have passed the test of time, and even the older ones like the 'Leo pointing meme', 'Wolverine looking at the portrait meme' and the 'thinking smart meme' are still used as often today as they were several years ago. I can't think of an example of an outdated meme used, because even though people don't get Rick-Rolled anymore, everybody remembers that. It pretty much became what Rick Astley is known for with current generations that weren't around to hear the full song play on the radio.

I am curious about the girl with the glasses in the Sabrina story. She got way too much panel time to be just some one-off character. Plus it looks like she was filming some of Sabrina's antics on her phone. I was expecting her to try to snatch the Tiki Statue or at least try to out Sabrina and Ophelia as witches near the end of the story. I mean, the girl literally filmed Sabrina summoning up Ophelia. Are we just gonna ignore that?

Other little jokes here and there I liked was when Jughead was hit by ketchup and mentioned that he'd be in trouble if it was mustard. Sounds like a cheesy line I would use. I also liked the thing with UTB Music taking the songs off the FlipFlop videos, which is something Youtube loves to do. FlipFlop is more of a TikTok expie than it is of Youtube and I'm not sure if TikTok deals with copyrighted music the way Youtube does, but I know the reference oh too well. I'm assuming FanCam is an expie of Snapchat. 

It was a fun read and cool to see what the Riverdale gang was up to since last I saw them around the mid-2000s or so. Even with new characters sprinkled in and the characters living in the world of social media and internet memes, I like seeing that the core characters are still the same. I don't know what Jughead would ever do if somehow burgers got out of fashion and everyone was eating tacos now. Would he make the switch? I'm sure there's a story like that somewhere within the 80 years or so of Archie comics.